“it’s the friends you can call up at 4 am that matter.” –marlene dietrich

Leaving for Dublin has been a million times harder than I thought it would be.

I did not expect to be as sad as I am.  I did not expect to feel so unsure of myself.  I’m losing the familiarity of the people and places that I love, and I find myself missing them so much that I want to hop on the next plane and fly straight back home.

I am losing a lot, but it’s clear to me that I’m gaining so much more.  I’m gaining a new perspective on the world. I’m gaining a better sense of  who I am and what I want in life.  I’m gaining the quiet confidence that only comes from being completely self-reliant.  I’m gaining an experience–an adventure that no one can ever replicate or take away from me.

In the meantime, I am attempting to say goodbye (for now) to the people I love and to prepare myself for the journey of a lifetime. And while this had been a struggle at times, I’ve also realized what a fantastic support system of amazing friends I have:

The friend that will come over for ten hours straight because you just need her there; the friends who will drop whatever they’re doing because you need to talk for a couple of hours; the friend you can call (read: wake up) at 4 am, even when he has his first day of class at 9; the friend who will stop by to say goodbye before a six-hour drive, even if that means arriving at the destination at 2 in the morning; the friend that will walk over in below freezing weather to play your favorite game with you; friends who will never judge you, but instead always tell you how proud they are of you. Friends who are as concerned about your own happiness as they are their own.

Friends that never get tired of hearing you repeat the same old things over and over again.

Friends who will just listen while you cry.

Friends that will always be on your side, even when you’re wrong.

Thanks, guys. Without you, I would’ve lost my mind a long time ago. Sending you lots of Irish luck and love.

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8 thoughts on ““it’s the friends you can call up at 4 am that matter.” –marlene dietrich

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  1. This is such a beautiful post, Bianca! I have felt the same way at times, but I am confident that being abroad will help both of us grow in ways we have yet to experience. If you ever need someone to talk to in Europe, I’ve got you covered! Hope you’re loving Dublin!

    1. Thank you :) That made my day! I know that we will both be better and stronger people after this semester. The adjustment period is just so daunting and overwhelming sometimes. Same to you! I really hope I get to see you during this semester! I am planning on making at least a trip or two to Roma!

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